Lazing about, listening to the waning hum of the fan as it rotates over me, sheepishly letting the warm air tuck me into a false sleep.
The bags that once were become more apparent; wrinkles now creased upon my pale flesh - a furrowed brow showing signs of zealous overuse. Change is unlike anything there is, regardless of how much we might seem to enjoy affixing it to mother nature. It has not been long, yet eternity has raged on ceaselessly.
Eyes fluttering open, keeping the memories of old from pervading my sanctum. Funny how such sweet memories of the past can taste so bitter-sweet now. Caught in the rip-tide that is day to day life, there is little we can do but go where the current takes us. Of course we know what ocean we go into and know we'll still be there when it ends, but that is only the basis, the structure to our future.
The creaking of an old vehicle yielding at the apartment parking, engine panting in the tepid heat. Once again the fan overpowers the background, seemingly blowing away what small worries there were just moments ago. How it gives me such reassurance is somewhat alarming, but at the same time it gives me peace of mind. I thank it. Abrupt and short-lived laughter. Sentiments shown towards an inanimate object.
The sun has long since set, but the heat persists. The fan keeps blowing, as though it were the last bastion to fend a warring army - the odds of it overcoming everything are impossible, but momentary relief is what it aims to do. Fixated on such smalls things, my mind strays again. Heavy tiredness wears on my body and soul. Long days, long nights. This was the trade and I knew it all along - yet selfish and fickle as we humans are, we will still hunger for a happiness unrequited.
Until then, for now, I turn my sympathy and admiration to that rustic device above me. Lazily turning the air around me cool. Sleep will soon come, and the memories will come as well. It's part of the package, as they say.
Drifting off, the night closes in, as though to embrace the body that stirs not. It's a welcome gesture and fully received. Let it whisper sweet nothings into my ear and fill my heart with the melancholy of tomorrow and an endearing future.
Sleeping as the fan rotates mechanically, the heat falls back. A rare, but small victory for the day - but that was all that was needed.
