Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Important Teacher....

I think of myself as someone who does relationships fairly well. I share deep, caring relationships with my friends and family. I have a wide circle of Tribe.

I have one area of weakness though, and that is with people who lack the conventional sense of boundaries. Rrrrrr. Boundary issues. It is a life-long lesson.

Usually it's fine. People act in an appropriate way. Relationships are respectful, feeding both parties the goodness that friendship should provide. Once in awhile, I get into a friendship with someone who soaks up alllll that I give, and is left wanting....and chastises me for it....AND, slow to come to any concrete conclusions about this, I only recognize what's going on when I find myself exhausted, frustrated, hurt, and my give tank is on empty.

Unfortunately, it's happening with someone right now. I need to establish some rules of the game for my own mental health. I hate when this is necessary, but it is something I need to practice so.....bring it. And may I learn this lesson. I want to learn how to walk around with my boundaries in-tact and be quick to recognize when they've been crossed, and to have the words, right then and there to rectify the situation. It's the second and third piece of that which I need to practice. Wisdom and grace come with time and experience.

And so it is that (not for the first time in my life) I come to realize that this person who is causing me grief, has guided me straight to an area of weakness in myself, and is thus an important teacher.