When I was little, I loved that kite flying feeling, the g-force playfully pulling, the exquisite dizziness afterwards of the merry-go-round. The only time I didn't like it was when I suddenly wanted off. Those few moments of having to wait for things to slow down and stop were...well, not so fun.
These days I am on a metaphorical crazy round round and I'm having that "let me off this thing" feeling. I'd rather be sitting with my feet dangling off and pushing myself ever so softly along, nice and slow. Instead, the deadlines stand alongside me, pushing me faster and faster, my eyeballs are beginning to knock together. Financial aid application + taxes, mock up exam sheets, and my appointments with doctor are all due in the early part of this week, and like a test of strength, I'm in an emotional pain and all I wanna do is curl up in a ball. So after having couple of antibiotics, I've managed to finish my financial aid app, and get a pencil draft of the taxes done. The research paper I have yet to write stands as the last merry-go-round pusher. As soon as my mock up exam sheets are written, I can move at my own speed again...slow. mindful.
I've been in a discernment process about another possible full-time job opportunity the past few days and...at the moment, it feels like taking a full-time job (in night) would be like getting on a permanent crazy round round. There is such richness on my road less traveled, this odd assortment of jobs: work, care giving to my elder, being everyone's handy-man, and a shellfisherman's sidekick when that time comes. I'm not totally decided though. There are pros and cons on either side. But, I have a paper to write....I'll think about the rest later.
Thanks for sharing your precious time here. Blessings to the ride, the road, the upcoming unfolding week...and to the discernment and decisions we all make about our lives, creating peace or adventure or both.
