Endless Journey.....

Do you ever feel that you would like to clear the slate? Just get everything finished, all the loose ends of your life tied up neatly. Just like that? I do, but then when I'm anywhere close, a panic seizes me, something unexpected occurs and shatters me, every day i may make progress, every step may be fruitful yet there is a stretch out there for me which is an ever-lengthiening, ever-ascending and that makes me feel i will never get to the end of the journey. I think of what it would be to have nothing to do in the world. How boring it would be! How terrifying! Although i take joy in little things of daily life but I think I must learn to take joy in the little victories and accomplishments much seriously too while keeping my eyes ever on the next goal. This is challenging.

It's so easy to rest on my laurels. And what does it get me? A closetful of unfinished sketching projects and a notebook of random notes. Nothing new to wear. No blogs worth publishing. Yet, there is more to life than setting goals and meeting deadlines. It's a cliche, but it's still true that life is what happens when you're making other plans. After all, what's a life, anyway ? We're born, we live a little while and we die.

Life is often more interesting than anything you could have dreamed up for yourself untill you dont have habit of woving webs for anyone you like. So my question is, how do you find balance been planning and achieving and just enjoying life as it comes? How do you avoid feeling devastated when your map gets sucked out the window of your car and you decide to just see where the road will take you?

By writing this blog perhaps i am just trying to lift up my life a trifle. But yes i do have words to say..."A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song."

Not yet, not now, not...me.

Forewarned by my previous director, I set about my perfectionist streak to be as detailed and determined as I could. Thankfully some things that were unclear even a week before simply fell into place.I am more clear and conscience about some people in my life.

Set in motion by a good intention and a positive attitude--and a good reputation--the build-up leading to the actual event was just marvellous. I'm grateful for a responsive and responsible collective team of confident and "can-do" people in my life.

The dust ain't settled though. Documentation, doggedly digging for a firm solution ahead, and determining to do what's right... One's To-Do list abounds and never clears.

What else gives?

What's it like to shout what you think should deserve an energetic response return nary an echo? In this world of electronic pings and pokes, silence is not heard because collateral noise covers up almost immediately. Kind of like a 7-second memory, or maybe...never mind.

Worth, value and reward. What drives you? I'm not talking about goals but your inner belief and idea of who and how you and your life's work will be deemed.

Not yet, not now, not...me.

I am doing fine...

I lay on my backs in the balcony
Silently watching the rain clouds move by far too fast
I know its a night where anything could happen
But nothing was gonna last
And I am doing fine now yeah i do
I don't feel sad or bad or blue and you know
I ain't never defeated
Not broken inside all that is fine
Yeah all that is fine

I, i burn my boats each new year
Silently watching the flames and the old life disappear
I am burning new sunrise into yesterday's skies
An ashen fingerprint melts into the sea
And I am doing fine now yeah i do
I don't feel sad or bad or blue and you know
I ain't never defeated
Not broken inside all that is fine
Yeah all that is fine

And I am doing fine now yeah i do
I don't feel sad or bad or blue and you know
I ain't never defeated
Not broken inside all that is fine
Yeah all that is fine

What gets his EYE, Heart & Attention ??

What does God look for?

This is no preaching piece. I'm really wondering just what gets His eye and heart and attention.

Is it faithfulness and dependability?

Is it willingness to trust Him and take that step of faith? Well, in short, faith.

Is it fruitfulness, the ability to apply your talents and bear results?

Is it integrity, being faithful even when no one's looking?

Is it courage and standing firm in the face of attacks and danger to self?

Is it persistence when things aren't going how you expected?

Is it knowing God's word, what it reveals, what He's saying to you and your situation?

Is it being obedient?

Is it knowing God's heart and what matters to Him?

Or is it simple being yourself ? Because we are creation of God and whatever we have within us is created by God.

What would God do, goes the adage.

So what should we do?

What does it mean to be free?

There is a conscious thought I remember attaining when I was much younger. It was very clear to me, given that which I knew, that every human being was pretty much the same and that everyone had the right to act in a manner that one independently felt was in one's best interests, a manner that maximised one's experiences of life but a manner that above all did not directly or indirectly cause harm to any other individual, to the best of one's knowledge; but we all know, ignorance doesn't count.

It was the thinking of a child and I couldn't quite frame the argument to satisfy the situations I encountered everyday but I still felt that there was some truth in it. As a young boy, I struggled with various questions of meaning and existence. I wondered why one person had the right to expect anything from another, whether there was anything that was freely given in this world and whether in the grand scheme of things it mattered. Whether there was truly justice, whether somehow everything evened out. I know now, that there are as many answers to these questions as there are human beings on this earth because when it comes to the beliefs we hold dear, "one man's paradise is another man's prison".

I have always been in search of an identity; an answer to the question that I believe plagues every human being at one point in their lives if they are so unfortunate as to be of average cognition or better.

The World Is SELF

Human beings like being lied to, yes; we seem to have an affinity for it. If it wasn’t for that fact, we who put words together probably wouldn’t have a job. In reality, when stripped of all emotion, life is simply boring and repetitive, human interaction is what keeps people going. Even the mightiest of us all has to concede that without the rest of us, there would be no way to define his or her might. Most of us walk around with the belief that we are somehow engaged in a worthwhile venture, that what we do on some level matters even if we don’t understand it. We are for the most part content to believe that we are somehow part of a greater purpose but when it comes down to what we feel and believe independent of “other people”, we, for the most part, don’t have a clue as to what we are doing.

People come together for all sorts of reasons but the primary urge we have behind all our actions is survival. Hardcoded within our DNA is a will to survive like no other for men will endure seemingly eternal torment and fight against unimaginable odds just for a breath of free air. Yet when we are satisfied and our thirst quenched, there are still desires within us, things that we don’t quite understand.

As a child, I came to understand that sometimes other people just don’t want to know anything about your feelings, that in fact, they would rather chew tin foil than listen to you prattle about how life is unfair to you. I also understood that sometimes it’s not that they don’t care but that, well, “everyone goes through shit” and no one has the right to transfer their shit onto someone else unless they are responsible for causing it or they willingly take it up, kind of like the doctrine of bearing each other’s burdens. I understood that there are certain people in life that you expect to be there for you, people you can count on and in my mind the very least you can expect from them is honesty.

The world is the self; your world is what you know and no more, know more.

What Do You Love To Do ???

“If you want to find out who people are, don’t ask them what they do but what they love.”

I was part of a conversation recently where people discussed how they feel about being asked ‘what they do.’ The responses ranged from seeing it as an easy way to start a conversation to feeling it was a way to ‘categorized’ someone based on their employment. Personally, I have experienced both.

I love this quote because I think it speaks to the rarity of being able to do, for money, what we love. Sometimes, that is the case. I am one who is so blessed. I have the privilege of doing what I love along with my full time job and getting paid for it.

But, many of us work to earn the money to do what we love. Our job doesn’t define us. There are those who do not get paid at all but are doing what they were designed to do. I am thinking of a beautiful, college-educated, talented, young woman who has made the decision to stay at home and care for her children. She is fully capable of earning an income in any number of ways but her heart’s desire is to build into the little lives that have been entrusted to her. It is heartbreaking that she feels the need to justify why she has made this choice. If you ask her what she does, she may say, “Nothing. I’m a stay-at-home mom.” If you ask her what she loves, she’ll say, “Being a mom.”

I know most of the people consider asking " What do you do ? " rather than " What you love to do ? " but just for a day, Today, consider asking someone what they love. It will give you a much deeper glimpse into their life than asking them what they do.

By the way, Have you ever thought ? WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO DO ??

Thanks a lot SPARKLE !

There are times that I sit and wonder what will become of life. Through good times and bad, Autumn leaves fall and a cool wind gusts by, I sit and thank you and how it changed my life. Everywhere that I go, there will be a memory that was constructed along the way, through a wonderful journey. Every song I listen to will remind me of you, and will remind me of how important you are. I will remember how great you are, and how much I realized.

I will know that you are better off without anyone, because on your own you will grow in your own way, and not in someone else's way. No one will know the things that were said when no one was around, or the way you looked at me from across the room. I'm glad that we've made things right, I just ask one thing from you.... Every time I say, Have fun, see you later, or goodbye... I really mean to wish the best for you & I will forever say it.

Thank you for everything you showed me, for letting me cry on your shoulder, for helping me out in my bad times, and for letting me part of your family.

Thanks a lot SPARKLE !